Things that we wanna do...

There are some things that we would like to do that are hinging on when this baby comes out; I am planning on doing them with the hopes that there will be a baby in my arms, but Joe was 10 days "late" so I might just be huge and pregnant at these events.

July 21st- Paul McCartney concert at CitiField- John wants baby to be born during concert, preferably during Hey Jude

July 30th- Brooklyn Cyclones Irish night- The Irish dance school I dance with will be performing

August 7th/8th- Matt Noonan's Wedding- I am due on the 7th, the wedding is in Ithaca NY...

August 15th- My Mom's Birthday- she is taking herself to see Wicked in the city, so I am betting I can see her for lunch or dinner and hand deliver a present.

                        Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory- Since I've been back in NYC, the Hudson River Park Trust has been showing the original (my favorite movie) on the piers, I've gone every year and it is now a family tradition.

August 21st- Mets Irish Night- The dance school will be performing for the first time at CitiField. Joe's first game was the last Irish Night at Shea, it would be great if Jude's first game could be the first Irish Night at CitiField.

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Stick a fork in me

I just had my 36 week check up- except that because they added an extra 2 weeks on to account for longer than usual cycles and a late first baby it was really a 34 week checkup. Confusing yes I know. But the good news is that my belly is measuring 37.5 centimeters (for those who don't know how big your belly is, is usually about how far along you are)....

I am 152 lbs today though, so I am officially a beached whale. There isn't even a lot of boob enhancement with this pregnancy so it just looks like I am smuggling a basketball around on my tree stump legs....

Contributing to the 152 lbs is the nightly Mr. Softee chocolate cone with sprinkles (the large cone, the waffle size I should add); We are financing Mr. Softee's children's education and last night he thanked us for it. I am not kidding, he gave us official Mr. Softee uniform tee-shirts. They are nice collared shirts with the logo on them. I'll post a picture when I get around to it....

So now more than ever, with the temperature creeping up in the humid way it does in NYC I am done with being pregnant in the summer. From now on I want only non summer births.

Chatter

I belong to a parents' group on-line in my neighborhood, I tend to lurk around the emails- offering things to people privately and generally trying to stay off the radar. My hubby always asks why I don't just make friends with the women who use the forum, he thinks it would be a good neighborhood connection and make me feel less lonely as a mom. BUT what he doesn't realize is that they are all crazy lunatics.

Take for instance recent posts pondering why the parks department can't designate time just for little kids in the playgrounds. That's right these women wanted to lobby for hours that older kids (and by older I mean like 10-15 year olds) could not be in the playground. Seems like a good idea at first, until you read further along and see that they wanted those times to be the after school hours in a park directly across the street from a middle school! It seems lots of folks think that the tween/teen element in our park is a bad one- sure I've seen more pre teen make out sessions than I am comfy with but it's not like they are shooting heroin under the climbing structure!

Or the myriad of posts asking why older folks in the neighborhood would not give up their library knitting time to add another children's story hour. The knitting hour is for charity yes, but shouldn't the children of the area come first? I should add that the knitters knit for children in the local hospital....

Further proof of the crazy: 

"Why are so many of the upscale restaurants just not child friendly" (maybe because if I am paying $32 for steak or pasta I don't want it to come with a side of child?)

And now to my generalization of crazy I can add a generalization of racist too...

There is a raging debate over illegal immigrants. One mom lives on a block that apparently is the mecca for illegal immigration. She cites such things as police activity, sexual harassment in two languages, drugs, vagrants and drunks in the grass; her child is in danger everyday because of these illegals! She is a lifelong resident of the neighborhood and is outraged over the turn for the worst!

There was a very politely worded response from a dad who suggested that the woman was assuming these folks were illegals (and here he corrected her by asking if maybe she thought they were undocumented) because of the color of their skin, and that on the whole many undocumented workers are the complete opposite of what she is recounting due to the fact that they DO NOT WANT TO BE NOTICED! He also took offense at her generalization that this particular group of people had no family values and had no positive contribution to the neighborhood.

Mom in question responded that she was not merely suggesting they are illegal, it is a fact that they are undocumented, and she knows because she has taken time to talk to them about their status in this country! How dare dad of same culture as these people think she is racist?! She too is a child of immigrants!

I hope the dad responds again and calls the woman an ass.

The neighborhood in question, the block in particular is one where there is a stretch of grass under the highway. LOTS of people sleep one off under the trees, or finish their brown bagged beer after work there. I've known some undocumented workers in my time both here in NYC and when I was in MT, and never once was that info shared casually just because someone asked. The neighborhood in question also used to be a hotbed of Irish Illegals, so much so that the FBI used to stake out a bar looking for gun runners, and now the undocumented Irish play football in the summer in between their construction gigs. But no one talks about that, since they are white and "upstanding contributors to the community" and god forbid anyone in this area speak ill of the Irish (or the Italians or the Norwegians or marginally the Greeks). 

Now I must continue lurking to watch this debate... and also pondering where I can move to doesn't have crazy moms...

Names or justification for or odd choice

My sister is in the process of figuring out how to name her eventual child. Her search for a name is complicated due to the fact that because she is adopting a non- newborn the child will have a name already. I mentioned in a previous post that we will be naming the baby due in August Jude Aloysius....my sister is now relieved that her child will not have the most unusual name in the family. 

Our first born was named after his grandfathers: Joseph was my husband's dads name and Patrick is my dad's middle name. To emphasis the mix of Italian and Irish that is our boy we went with Padraic as the spelling for the middle name. No one can pronounce it right and no one ever uses it. The names are meaningful to us and fit the boy wonderfully. So that my sister can feel even more assured her kid won't have the most unusual name of the grand kids, here are some names that we didn't use: 

Girls names included: Aednat (pronounced eynit meaning little fire), Orlaith (pronounced Orla meaning golden princess), Branna (meaning beauty with hair as dark as a ravens)

Boys names included: Faolan (pronounced Fawlin meaning wolf/loyal), Bradan (meaning salmon) and Odhran (pronounced Oran meaning otter)

For the second born I thought of girls names first. They included Nancy after my favorite teacher, Jean after a cousin who I remember as super awesome but is deceased now, Ceili since a ceili is the first real date we went on, and Grania which means Grace since that is what I would want my daughter to have.

Boys names were harder to think of this time around. I wanted to include Joe in the naming process which is how we ended up with Jude. We listen to the Beatles every Sunday morning while eating pancakes. "Hey Jude" was the first song Joe could sing along with.... Aloysius is what I wanted to name my younger brother when he was born. Why would a 4 year old choose such an odd name you ask? Well because I had a subscription to Highlights For Kids and I loved the Aloysius the wolf stories. I have since learned that Aloysius is also the first name of Big Bird's Pal Snuffleupagus. He is my all time  favorite Muppet, and the fact that he is huge and shaggy seems like a good fit for my child;  at least it is if the first borns size and amount of hair is any indication of a family trend.

So there ya go. Odd yes but who uses their middle names anyway?

a month of to-do

Finish knitting sweater for baby

Organize baby's room---------DONE

Go Costco shopping-----------------------DONE 

Freeze enough food for a month---------DONE with approx 17 lbs of assorted meat leftover

Organize play room so it can function as a place to play------DONE

Buy: Breast pump accessory kit, Baby Shampoo/washcloths, some sort of nursing coverup, maybe a new sling, batteries for aquarium thing, pads and witch hazel.-------- DONE except no new sling

Organize desk area so can function as desk area not just dumping ground- DONE though there is still a pile of crap on the dining room table.

Start thinking about what to knit for Liz's eventual child-----This will never be done since I have so many ideas and no clue how old child will be!

seems doable right? we shall see....

ta- da!

I wish I had made this for Joe's Baptism. I think this is what Jude will be coming home from hospital in if he ever decides to get the hell out of me.... Now if only I could figure out if it needs sleeves or not.

Gets me thinking

So my bloggy  sister posted a reading that got me thinking about where I work. The school I worked in this year is a good one, it has a great reputation and the educational philosophy is one that I agree with. But on occasion I was sickened by the "diversity issue". This is what preschools politely call their race policies. It seemed to me that no other diversity was taken into account- there was no overt concern for mixing gay and straight parents, single parents and couples, divorced people and still married, mixed race couples and single race couples, or even mixing of kids on financial aid and full tuition families. 

It all came down to what box the family had checked for their kid's race- so much so that a child who I spent the whole year thinking was German based on looks of him, and mother and his name was considered the one diversity boy in next year's class because his father is mixed race. I am not saying that this child does not bring diversity to the school, but if you never see the dad or talk about what makes this child different, no one would ever know. In a class of 18 kids this one boy was, in my opinion, the token non-white; except for the fact that he is (at least in skin tone) whiter than me. 

Little kids see differences in concrete ways: your hair is curly, mine is straight; "I have a penis with a ring, you don't have a ring on your penis"; "Regina you are spotted like my mommy, and I am all over brown like my daddy".  Yes I think children need to be exposed to people of other colors than themselves so they can see these differences and not be afraid of the "other", but I also think our differences (and similarities) lie more within our cultural frameworks and upbringings than in the color of our skin.  Little kids are capable of having discussions about culture; how is your family the same as mine? how are they different? And here's a hint its not just the color of our skin that sets us apart or brings us together. 

I am fully aware that at some point my own children will ask me, (or my sister, or the child) why my sister's kid is a different color than the rest of the family, and the answer will be because aunt liz adopted him from a different place than our family is from. It's a simple answer (and one that will grow more complex as the children grow older) but really isn't that what skin color comes down to- geographic location of your ancestors? I know that this simple explanation doesn't address the values placed on the colors of people's skin but that is sort of the point, but there is a time to address that issue; and its not when a kid is 3. 

When will the torture end?

And by torture I mean this pregnancy. I don't know how to feel about anything anymore. When i first peed on the stick I was really happy- I like kids, I wanted more kids, Joe needs playmates, I miss the early baby stages....and now I am a mess. I have officially hit the freaking out stage of pregnancy. And the freaking out isn't even about the baby, its about how the house will get clean once there are two kids sucking the life out of me.

My mom commented at some point recently that I am overwhelmed by motherhood and she's right; I have no clue what I am doing and I feel like everyone else does. And it's not even the kid that overwhelms me, its the other stuff the housewifey cooking and cleaning stuff that I can't figure out. Is it laziness? Latent guilt about going back to work? When I am home with Joe i want to be near him all the time (even if that is just watching curious george with him), when he is not here all I want to do is nothing (or maybe nap and eat). This makes for no dishes getting done and the house looking like a pigsty. Yes the kid helps out, he is a master at helping to take dishes out of dishwasher, a star at getting laundry in the machine, and pretty good about putting toys away (or at least as good as any crazy 2 year old); BUT I still feel like I have no balance in this house. 

Is it because I am tired from lugging around the extra weight of fetus around? Is it because, as my husband says, I have a higher expectation of myself because I think everyone else is better at it than me? Is it the hormones? Am I the only one who feels like they can't handle two kids,and get a meal prepared, cooked and cleaned up? I'd venture to guess no, but shit where are the other people who are less than confident about their mommying/housewifing skills?

Boardy Barn here he comes

My son the future frat boy complete with mardi gras cup and flipped collar; all he needs now is a white hat...

a year in photos

So even though I can't find/remember my winkflash i

d (this is cause for concern as all of my wedding photos and joe's first year on on there) I can now bring you a year (ok more than a year) in photos thanks to finding the cord for the camera, the wonders of Iphoto and the new computer....So let's start with the first birthday may 08

and move into the summer of 08- I can't believe how different Joe is from then to now. He

 seems so much older and it has only been a year.

The last one is by far my favorite photo of Joe and my dad that we have, granted we only have this one and one from when Joe was really little and both of them are asleep, but still I really like this photo.

We went to MA on our Fall Family Foliage Extravaganza and celebrated Halloween in style:

We had snow and Christmas and a first visit from my brother:

Saint Patrick's Day came and went, we had a second birthday and a hospital ER visit (not our first but still noteworthy) and we measured up against the dog.

And that pretty much sums up the time that I haven't been blogging.

And I'm back!

We finally got a computer! I am the proud owner of a new very simple macbook...I LOVE IT! I'd been using a macbook all year at work and they are so easy to use that i fell in love. So we bought one in anticipation of late night feedings (i am downloading Buffy the vampire slaying as we speak) and me looking for work again come fall 2010.

So what can you expect? Well I am going to throw some updated photos up here, talk about the nightmare that is being pregnant while having a 2 year old, the transition from a crib to big boy bed, and eventually the insanity of having a 2 year old and a newborn and my mother in law all in one house!

So stay tuned...