Monday, February 2, 2009

I know

In response to the comments and also phone calls and emails that I got from the Admitting It post...

1- Our insurance only covers some mental health care professionals, i could have looked for one our insurance covered but I am lazy and the school mental health guy recommended someone who is good. Sure I will check if she will take our insurance but I don't really care; if its something that money has to be spent on so be it.

2- I still think the Landmark group is slightly too intense for me. I don't like crying in groups, nor do I want strangers knowing how i feel about my perceived failures...why blog about them then, you may ask...Well I know most of the people who read this and feel ok about them knowing my issues, and those who I don't know i figure I will never meet...

3- I know I can call any number of you to talk about stuff. BUT no one I know has had post partum depression (and again who even knows if I have it or if its just genetic breeding to hold everything in until I explode), no one I know can dispense drugs (the mental health kind) if I need them, and even though some of you are moms and have gone through some stuff of your own, i still feel like I am alone in this in some ways. It is not a reflection on how i feel about you as a person, a relative, a friend that I don't call or talk about stuff, it is a reflection on my own feelings of self.

4- I read my sister's blog today. She wrote about a trip to Puerto Rico she took with my older siblings and my mom.... It is nice to read that even my own mighty mom had some things to resolve but it makes me feel a little shitty that my mom can't talk about it with her own daughters. These are the things you are supposed to talk about to your children (obviously when they are old enough); these are the things that would be helpful for a new mom to hear rather than "you do what you have to do"


Gwynne Watkins said...

Let me know how your therapist is; I always think about seeing one but I have trouble finding people who make me feel better and not worse.

Anonymous said...

When I had Warren I started having auditory hallucinations. Seriously. I was hearing things that I knew wasn't really happening. Mainly babies crying and then when Warren came home, every evening at sunset I would hear the tinkling music of his mobile. Like on the HORIZON while OUTSIDE. and I was miserable. So, I was like, wtf?!? and I went to the doc and she put me on Effexor which got rid of all of the symptoms and I stayed on it for a year and a half until very recently. It is very expensive if you don't have insurance, and it is really (REALLY) hard to stop taking, but it really helped me a ton because I couldn't deal. Now, as a friend, you know, you'll say my sanity has always been up for debate, but what was weird was I knew it wasn't real, I could still hear it. So yes, ppd is VERY real and VERY treatable and there's no reason to be embarrassed or suffer.
Peace and love.
-your pal laura