Last year around this time I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my son. I was cranky, swollen and uncomfortable in all the ways that pregnant woman usually are. I spent this week eating leftovers from my brother's wedding because I refused to go into labor with dishes in the sink. The other reason was that all the leftovers were spicy food that I hoped would jump start the birthing process, I was eating jerk chicken and red beans with rice like it was going out of style.
I was finished with classes at that point so I had lots of time to wait and wonder. I walked around the neighborhood making people nervous, drank numerous cups of tea while sitting on the bench outside our local deli; the owner would sit with me and every so often ask if I was in labor yet. I also watched a lot of television. BAD television. I caught up on awful reality shows, watched every season of Kate and Allie in rerun form and cried over sappy commercials.
The ad execs sure know how to pull at a pregnant woman's heartstrings..little kids giving moms big hugs and diamond rings, moms snuggling little toes, grown children calling home to wish their mom a happy mother's day...It all made me cry, I was sure that I would still be pregnant on Mother's day, which in my head wouldn't allow me to be celebrated since I wouldn't technically be a mom yet.
But the babe came out in time...and my husband forgot that mom's like to at least have breakfast in bed on Mother's Day. He bought a card while walking the dog, but only after seeing a Mother's Day commercial. For some reason I was really upset that he didn't acknowledge the fact that I was a mother. I know it was the hormonal drop of being 3 days post partum, but I curled up and cried.
This year was different. I came home on Friday to a Kitchen Aid Mixer sitting on our bed. I've wanted one for a very long time, and I used to tell the hubby that nothing said loving like a KitchenAid. He bought it early because "Well you are making a cake for his birthday, I thought this would help, and you know make up for last year."
Now I feel like a real mom, maybe it is the new ability to make cookies and cakes (something I remember my mom doing with me), or the fact that the babe is a year old and I've finally figured out how (sort of) to be me and a mom...or maybe it is because there was an acknowledgement of my motherhood that didn't involve hints from me or the T.V.
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