Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Harder than I thought....

So today is day 3 in the NEW HOUSE! yup a new house, in a new town; where I know not a soul save for the realtor...
I thought it would b easy, I'd breeze into town and start talking to folks at the farmers market, bring Joe to school and meet other parents at drop off...but noooooo

I went to the farmers market with the dog. It is a lot farther away on foot than via car, I was parched and tired and silently manic by the time I got there. I bought corn, overpriced almond butter and some bread and then hightailed it out of there. I brought the boys for a walk along the river and we encountered nary a soul...

I brought Joe to school and couldn't muster up the essential chitchat you need to make friends. Everyone knows each other and I am the silent new kid.
I cried on the way home.

It's harder than I thought it would be, and some of it is because of the stress of house induced poverty, the lack of sleep because all of us are allergy sufferers, the lack of sleep because the boys are disoriented, the general unease at not knowing what I am doing.

The park is fun though, and it's quiet at night, and the river rushing over the rocks feeds my soul in a way that I forgot was possible. And the overpriced almond butter is pretty good too.....

4 comments:

Princess Lolly said...

Hang in there, kitten. The newness DOES suck... :( sounds like your new place is wundy, though.

Liz said...

You forgot that you'd be bringing your same self with you to the new town! From what I could tell, you didn't make friends with other mothers all that easily back in Brooklyn either.

Moving is one of the most stressful things you can do, give yourself some time to settle in. I've lived in Boston for over 15 years and still don't really feel settled here!

regina said...

Keely- thanks. I keep thinking of you and the rats. In fact yesterday as I ran into a GIANT spider web I said to myself "well at least we dont have rats like Keely"....

Liz- I know but I had friends in Brooklyn....here its just me and john arguing about paint colors and stripping wood and the boys trying to hard to play nicely around the boxes

Mark & Erin said...

Hi Regina,
Having moved 6 times in 4 years, and not being a terribly outgoing sort, I believe I have some expertise in these matters.

1. It takes time. Relax and enjoy your own company for awhile, take your time unpacking, cooking, baking whatever. All too soon you'll be wishing for privacy and quiet.

2. Hang out in the front yard/sidewalk as much as possible - I'm sure you can find some gardening excuse - that way neighbors feel obliged to say hi.

3. Knock on your neighbor's door and ask them for some favor - like I just moved in and I'm not sure where the best place to get x is?

4. Use your adorable kids. Everyone has to say hi to little kids. Offer to help at Joe's school w/ a bake sale or whatever. Use the kid's b-day as an excuse to meet mom's on your turf.

5. The first few months are quiet and sad and weird. especially winter. In all 6 places, by month 8-10, we had at least 1 great friend and 2-3 acquaintances in the 'hood. Which makes moving again REALLY hard.

Cheers,
Erin