I admit I am judgy when it comes to people's baby registries...Maybe it comes from having a family that doesn't do showers (though my sister is crazy if she thinks I am going to tame my inner Martha and not throw her an adoption shower) or maybe it comes from being cheap; I'm not sure.
But I am very judgemental about what others want. For instance I got invited to the shower of my husband's cousin. Everything on her registry is high end, organic only, BPA free, and all the baby buzz word merchandise is there. There are two places this person is registered- the first is relatively normal and I could buy a bottle brush for 5 bucks along with the 219.00 dollar highchair if I were so inclined.....The other is a very high end boutique store where I can buy a knit romper for 54.00 or an elephant bank for 90.00 (and these are on the low side of the things wanted) or I could spend a whopping 200.00 on a baby lounger.
I think the judgy stems from the fact that I don't get it. I wouldn't be so judgy if this person was a natural lover who really believed in organics and free trade and sustainable living, but she isn't. The registries reek of "this is what I HAVE to have because the experts say so" And I get it that people use the lists, and read the books and look to others who have kids to see what they should get and all that...BUT seriously how many places to sit the baby down do you need? Do you really need a swing and a lounger and a bouncy seat, and 2 pack and plays, and a boppy and a breast friend? In my opinion (which is the one that counts mind you) no. You need a bouncy seat and a blanket for the floor. Do you need 80 dollar foam floor tiles? NOPE.
And it's not like the extra stuff is going to go to grandma's or something like that since I know grandma is getting stuff from her sister's to keep in her house for when baby comes....
ok thats it rant over, feel free to comment on why this rant makes me a horrible person.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
I know
In response to the comments and also phone calls and emails that I got from the Admitting It post...
1- Our insurance only covers some mental health care professionals, i could have looked for one our insurance covered but I am lazy and the school mental health guy recommended someone who is good. Sure I will check if she will take our insurance but I don't really care; if its something that money has to be spent on so be it.
2- I still think the Landmark group is slightly too intense for me. I don't like crying in groups, nor do I want strangers knowing how i feel about my perceived failures...why blog about them then, you may ask...Well I know most of the people who read this and feel ok about them knowing my issues, and those who I don't know i figure I will never meet...
3- I know I can call any number of you to talk about stuff. BUT no one I know has had post partum depression (and again who even knows if I have it or if its just genetic breeding to hold everything in until I explode), no one I know can dispense drugs (the mental health kind) if I need them, and even though some of you are moms and have gone through some stuff of your own, i still feel like I am alone in this in some ways. It is not a reflection on how i feel about you as a person, a relative, a friend that I don't call or talk about stuff, it is a reflection on my own feelings of self.
4- I read my sister's blog today. She wrote about a trip to Puerto Rico she took with my older siblings and my mom.... It is nice to read that even my own mighty mom had some things to resolve but it makes me feel a little shitty that my mom can't talk about it with her own daughters. These are the things you are supposed to talk about to your children (obviously when they are old enough); these are the things that would be helpful for a new mom to hear rather than "you do what you have to do"
1- Our insurance only covers some mental health care professionals, i could have looked for one our insurance covered but I am lazy and the school mental health guy recommended someone who is good. Sure I will check if she will take our insurance but I don't really care; if its something that money has to be spent on so be it.
2- I still think the Landmark group is slightly too intense for me. I don't like crying in groups, nor do I want strangers knowing how i feel about my perceived failures...why blog about them then, you may ask...Well I know most of the people who read this and feel ok about them knowing my issues, and those who I don't know i figure I will never meet...
3- I know I can call any number of you to talk about stuff. BUT no one I know has had post partum depression (and again who even knows if I have it or if its just genetic breeding to hold everything in until I explode), no one I know can dispense drugs (the mental health kind) if I need them, and even though some of you are moms and have gone through some stuff of your own, i still feel like I am alone in this in some ways. It is not a reflection on how i feel about you as a person, a relative, a friend that I don't call or talk about stuff, it is a reflection on my own feelings of self.
4- I read my sister's blog today. She wrote about a trip to Puerto Rico she took with my older siblings and my mom.... It is nice to read that even my own mighty mom had some things to resolve but it makes me feel a little shitty that my mom can't talk about it with her own daughters. These are the things you are supposed to talk about to your children (obviously when they are old enough); these are the things that would be helpful for a new mom to hear rather than "you do what you have to do"
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