Monday, June 23, 2008

Is it appropriate?

This weekend we went to dinner with my mother in law and my brother in law. Both of these people are currently in AA, my brother in law celebrates his one year sober anniversary this coming friday
Neither myself or my husband wants to go, as we don't really believe in AA. Yes I know it works for some people, but their philosphy about alcoholism as a disease, as well as all the God talk, and the fact that everyone I have ever known who has done AA has replaced their addicition to whatever with an addicition to meetings just doesnt sit well with me. We also do not think it is a very appropriate place to bring a one year old child.
So when my mother in law asked if we were planning on going we had a readymade (and true) excuse in that the hubby has to work. She then asked if I was going to go, to which i made some non committal grunting sounds (I was told to hold my tongue and let the hubby deal with it). When the hubby said no and that we were going to drop the child off on saturday morning, she talked about how she was going to be home and she would love to have him during the day. The hubby responded that he didn't really want the babe in a meeting without him, and my mother in law said "he's already been to one."

I held my tongue but inside I was raging.
Am I insane or is AA not a place for young children? 
Even if I really believed in AA I would not think it was appropriate to bring a young child to a meeting, and if i was watching someone else's kid I would make sure about how they feel before bringing their kid....
So am I insane for being upset?

1 comment:

Liz said...

(This may show up twice, I got a weird error message the first time I typed it in.)

Okay, I see two issues here. First of all, it doesn't really matter if YOU believe in AA or not, what matters is that your in-laws believe in it and it works for them. I don't believe in the Catholic church, but when someone invites me to a wedding or a baptism or a first communion you don't hear me making non-committal grunting noises, do you? I see this as the same thing.

Secondly, you absolutely have the right to raise your child as you see fit, but if you have not before now told your MIL that you don't want him at a meeting, you don't have a right to be upset now. Tell her that you don't want him there and request that she respect your wishes. But do it without accusing her of doing something wrong. Maybe even talk to her about why you think it's not appropriate and ask her why she thinks it is appropriate. And keep in mind that she is not deliberately trying to piss you off, she is doing what she thinks is the best thing for someone that she loves. Just because you disagree with her doesn't mean that she is wrong or that your way is better.