40 weeks and done

so its been 40 weeks. i've been contracting for the last 5 days with no resulting baby. I am done. Plus I am not sleeping so I am a crank, which makes being a mom to a two year old very very hard. I don't like being a snappy bitch to my child.

So when I went to midwife today I was expecting for an internal exam, maybe some more membrane stripping, something to help this along. Or at least a poke around to see where we were at (last week I was 1 cm dilated and a little effaced), but nooo...4 other women had to be in labor. The midwife said she didn't want to risk starting my labor with the other women being already in labor. 

I wanted to scream "What about me?" I wanted to be selfish and insist. But I didn't. I just meekly went on my way home in the hopes that tonight the contractions actually go somewhere or at the very least go away so I can sleep. 

But there better not be anyone in labor tomorrow because dang it I am going back and insisting that my needs be met.